Dating After You Get Engaged

We have less than three months until the big day. 88 days to be exact! Days are full of work, school (I’m still in college full time), planning the wedding, and getting our house fixed up. We’ve spent late nights putting in new windows at the house or ripping out moldy old paneling. Some nights it has been after ten before we get home from school and/or work and the day started at 6:30 or 7 am. Jeff keeps saying that he’s seen less of me since we got engaged and his parents keep making cracks about the fact that we are always on the phone. We just argue back that it’s the only time we get time to ourselves. I still see him almost every day, but it's not the same. Last night we stood outside my house and as he hugged me good bye and dropped a kiss on my head he whispered, “I miss you”.

I miss him too. I imagine that most engaged couples will agree that time becomes a precious commodity in the days before the wedding. It is also the time that you need each other the most. Wedding planners tell couples that this is a time of transition, a time to keep learning about each other but on a different level. It is a time where friendships begin changing as you make the transition from being single to being part of a permanent couple. It is a time full of stress and the best way to handle it is to have someone to lean on. This can be a time of incredible growth in your relationship and a chance to really learn about your partner.

One thing you have to do is continue dating! It is hard, I know, but it is necessary to keep your sanity. Make time to go out and have fun. The key is finding time to get completely away from the wedding plans and the rest of reality. Go somewhere new, do something that neither of you have ever done. Or if you have a favorite place, find a different variation of it. Last week Jeff and I took the day and went to Ocean City, MD. The beach is one of our favorite date spots (It’s fun, relaxing, and cheap!) so we decided to visit some new beach spots. We used the "150 Cheap Date Ideas" website listed below for some fun dates.

Cheap dating is important too. Money is one of the things that will cause stress and arguments during your engagement so look for inexpensive date ideas. ABC News did an article about dating during the recession with ideas like wine tastings and Scrabble café’s for cheap dates. Take walks together. It is a good way to get away without actually going anywhere. Jeff and I get teased for being corny because our favorite spot to sit and talk during a walk is in a cornfield. Go on picnics or visit a local zoo and pack your lunch. Take your man with you when you register for the wedding. It can be long and tedious if you go alone so have him man the price gun and then you can plan your house together.

Your engagement is a time full of excitement, stress, and change. Go along for the ride, but don’t get caught in the current and pulled under. Do things that let you stop and catch your breath. Plan time to spend with your partner and continue building your relationship. And remember, you can survive!


Fun Date Ideas
[http://www.funnewjersey.com/upload_user/Weekend_Getaways/150_DATE_IDEAS_NJ_ROMANTIC_DATE_IDEAS.HTM]

Resources
(2009). 150 Fun Romantic Date Ideas in NJ. Retrieved from http://www.funnewjersey.com/upload_user/Weekend_Getaways/150_DATE_IDEAS_NJ_ROMANTIC_DATE_IDEAS.HTM

Lewis , J. (2009). Avoiding Engagement Stress Blues. Retrieved from http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/engagement-stress.htm

Wong, K. (2009, April 27). Recession Dating 101: Cheap Date Ideas. ABC News, Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Story?id=7439539&page=1